My first sestina – poem

She asked me if I was in love with you,

I should have lied, but I didn’t say no –

I had no more words, just shook my head,

Spun on my heel and turned to leave

She watched me – and started to cry,

And I – just left, did nothing, said nothing.

 

Nothing begins and ends with nothing,

And when there was no me and you

There was never any reason to cry –

If only I had been smart and said no

To your extended offer, I wouldn’t have to leave,

If only I had ignored my heart, followed my head –

 

But my eyes were fastened to the back of your head,

And it was if there was nobody, nothing

In this world that could make me leave

I was more than a bit obsessed with you

And – I wish you would have said no

We both said yes, and she started to cry

 

And I’m not sure now for whom to cry,

I’m sipping something, fog in my head

I asked for forgiveness, she shook her head no

Can’t blame her, I treated her like nothing

I saw through her, saw only you

And now I’m the one who has to leave.

 

Can’t think straight, asked work for leave

“Personal reasons” I said, pretended to cry

It sounds pathetic I’m sure to you,

Who am I? I’m stuck in my head,

I, quite honestly, feel like such a nothing

I have no self-control, can’t tell myself no

 

Now I’ve come to you, you also said no

Don’t blame you, I’ll pack up and leave

Leaving behind my traces of nothing,

Each time I laugh, each time I cry

Silently hoping you’ll follow where I head,

Silently still wishing I could be with you.

 

Now I have nothing, you both said no.

I still love you – don’t make me leave,

You made me cry when you shook your head.

 

 

 

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